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Peyton + Jacob Chapter 9

Hello World! Chapter 9!
~Kerin

            Shortly after my conversation with Jacob, I headed over to Landon’s dorm. I wasn’t sure how I was going to break up with him. I didn’t know if I should tell him about Jacob and I or not. But I’m sure he’ll ask if there’s someone else, and I just don’t want to hurt him anymore than necessary. When I arrived at his dorm, there were an ambulance, police cars, and people everywhere. I looked around trying to see what was going on, but I couldn’t see. I saw Landon amongst the crowd.
“Landon?” I called out to him, and he turned around in my direction and then walked up to me.
“Hey what are you doing here?” he asked.
“I was hoping we could talk,” I said.
“Yeah sure. Let’s go up to my room,” he said before leading me up to his room. When we got to his room I noticed his roommate Justin was there.
“It’s crazy out there isn’t it?” Justin said.
“Yeah what happened?” I asked sitting down on Landon’s bed.
“Some guy apparently hung himself, so everyone’s going all crazy,” Landon said joining me on the bed.
“Yeah but I knew the guy. He didn’t seem the type. Paul never seemed depressed or anything,” Justin added.
“Did you say Paul?” I asked.
“Yeah. Did you know him? He worked at the Sbarro’s on campus – real funny dude,” Justin said.
“Yeah, I mean not really but I met him. He seemed really nice,” I said.
“Yeah I don’t know. Yesterday when he came in, he seemed a little upset, but I didn’t think it was anything serious. I mean he was mumbling how he was just trying to help someone out. I don’t know,” Justin said. I immediately thought about the argument I overheard between Jacob and Paul.
“But they’re sure it’s suicide?” I said.
“I don’t know, but it’s just real sad. But hey I’ll leave you two to your privacy. I’ll be back a little later. Nice to see you Peyton,” Justin said before getting up to leave.
“You too Justin,” I said as he left.
“That’s really sad though,” Landon said.
“Yeah it is,” I said.
“It’s really got me thinking though. You know life is so short, and you never want to miss a moment, and I know I told you before, but Peyton I really want you to know that I love you. I am in love with you.,”
“Landon –”
“No Peyton let me finish. I know that you’ve been avoiding me because something happened between you and Jacob. The morning I came by, I could tell something happened that night, and I want you to know, I don’t care. I don’t care what happened that night. I love you and it doesn’t matter.”
“Jacob and I –”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“We slept together.” I was scared to confess the truth, but I had to say something while he was pouring his heart out to me. How could I break up with him now? He was silent for a while before he responded.
“I don’t care.”
“I’m sorry.” I know I was supposed to be breaking up with Landon, but how could I after he just forgave me for the ultimate act of betrayal.
“It’s okay. I love you.” And then he leaned over and kissed me.

I tried to get lost in the kiss, but I had a million things running through my mind at the time. What was I going to tell Jacob? Did I still want to break up with Landon? Maybe Landon was the better choice. As the kiss continue to progress into a make out session, my mind continued to run on overtime. What about Paul? Was it really a suicide? Did Jacob have anything to do with it? And when Landon began to show me just how much he loved me, by making love to me, all I could think about was that I was betraying Jacob.
On my ride back to my apartment, I kept thinking about Paul and what happened. Something in my gut was telling me that Jacob had something to do with Paul’s death, but still didn’t understand what would drive Paul into killing himself. I also didn’t know how to bring this up to Jacob. And what was I supposed to tell him about Landon?
When I got in the apartment, Jacob was nowhere in sight. He was either gone or still in his room. I quickly walked over to his room, and opened the door. He was again holding that bottle of pills in his hand, but this morning it was full, and now it was half empty. I decided to once again ignore the pills, and walked over to join him on his bed.
“How was the break up?” he asked once I was seated. I decided to ignore his question, and change the subject.
“Did you hear about Paul?” I asked. Jacob’s eyes went wide and his jaw tensed, but he didn’t respond, so I continued, “He hung himself.” Jacob still didn’t respond.
“Jacob, isn’t that sad?” I asked. Jacob still didn’t respond. He just stared blankly.
“Jacob?” I said trying to get his attention.
“What? He had it coming,” he said.
“What?” I said
“I mean he brought this on himself,” he said getting up and walking to the other side of the room, his hands were shaking.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean he was messing around in stuff he had no business in.”
“Like what?”
“I can’t say.”
“Jacob!”
“Peyton, I can’t tell you!”
“But… so it wasn’t a suicide?” Jacob didn’t respond and he had his back to me. “Answer me!”
“I think you already know the answer.”
“Oh my gosh. Jacob what did you do?”
“What?” He turned around to face me, “You think I had something to do with this.”
“Of course I do. I mean what do you expect me to think?”
“You think I’m a murderer?” I didn’t answer. I didn’t know what to think.
“You know what? Peyton, just get out,” Jacob said turning away from me.
“No Jacob, if you’d just tell me what happened, I wouldn’t have any doubts,” I said.
“You know you lied.”
“What are you talking about?”
“When you said you didn’t care, you do care.”
“I don’t care. Jacob, I just want to know. Please tell me.”
“I can’t!”
“Jacob!”
“Do you want to end up like Paul? Dead! He’s dead Peyton, and I don’t want that to happen to you. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Okay then trust me.”
“Okay I trust you.”


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