~Kerin
Chapter One
My alarm went off at seven like it does every morning. My first class wasn’t until 9:30, but I always had the pleasure of escorting my roommate’s night guest out in the morning, since he was usually either too hung-over to do anything or nowhere to be found when she was awaiting her goodbye kiss, and I honestly usually find them too annoying to deal with, and try to get them out as early as possible. I found out that getting up a little earlier gave me enough time to deal with them and allowed me plenty of time to get ready in peace.
I got out of bed and went to the bathroom, and splashed some water on my face to wake me up a bit. When I left my room, I saw the light on in the kitchen, and I immediately thought the girl was trying to fix some coffee or find something to eat, which has happened many times before. The girls thought that if they made breakfast or coffee, he’d join them and actually call them and ask them out again, but of course that never happened. The only person that would join them was me, and I of course certainly did not have their numbers. To my surprise when I entered the kitchen, I found my roommate pouring himself a cup of coffee.
“Coffee?” he asked when he saw me, immediately pouring a cup, and offering it to me.
“Thank you,” I said taking the cup, “You’re up early.”
“I knew you’d be up. I thought I’d surprise you,” he said with a smile.
“Well I’m definitely surprised. But seriously what are you doing up? And where’s your lady friend? Don’t tell me you came home by yourself last night?” I mocked.
“She left already,” he said nonchalantly.
“Really?” I asked shocked.
“She skipped out on me early this morning,” he said taking a sip of his coffee.
“Aww, the one who always skips out, got skipped out on. How does it feel?” I mocked.
“Refreshing.”
“Really?”
“Yeah it’s nice. I didn’t even have to ask her to leave… or get you to ask her to leave. She just left.”
“And that’s nice?”
“Yeah, I didn’t have to go through that whole awkward moment when she realizes I’m never going to see her again and I didn’t have to feel like a jerk.”
“Do you ever really feel like a jerk?”
“Yes, briefly, but I try not to dwell on it, otherwise I might end up calling one of them back.”
“Maybe you should call this girl back.”
“Yeah this was so nice I thought about, but then I remembered she wasn’t that … entertaining, and I dismissed the idea completely.”
“You should give one of these girls a chance.”
“You know I only have a heart for one girl.” He smiled.
“Jacob, you know you and I would never work.”
“But Peyton, we’ve never tried, and you know what they say.”
“You never know until you try… yeah yeah no, and besides I have a boyfriend.”
“Landon of course. Oh my gosh I love him so much.” He deadpanned. I laughed.
“I don’t understand why you don’t like Landon. He’s a great guy.”
“Yeah he’s just so much fun.”
“Everyone doesn’t have your idea of fun.”
“Especially if you’re Landon and you have no idea of fun.”
“Landon knows how to have fun.”
“Yeah if by fun you mean having a late study date in the library over biology notes and hot cocoa, or spending Saturday nights watching Friends reruns with his 14 year old sister.”
“Hey, I think those things are fun.”
“You’ve turned boring.”
“I’m not boring, and you’re the one who’s changed.”
“I haven’t changed. I’ve grown up.”
“You call how you act growing up? Well I call it wasting your life away.” I was starting to get angry.
“My version of growing up just isn’t the same as yours, but at least I’ve grown up.” I could tell he was getting angry as well.
“Yeah you’re a real big boy. You even watch R- rated movies,” I mocked.
“Well at least my life isn’t still PG-13!”
“So what if my life is PG-13? What’s the problem?”
“The problem? When I say your life is still PG-13, I mean you are exactly the same person you were 5 years ago. I’m not that thirteen year-old little boy anymore, but you’re still that little girl, and if you can’t see that that’s a problem, clearly you have more issues than I thought, and you’re the one that needs to grow up.”
“What are you my father now – telling me what to do?”
“No I’m not your father. I’m your friend and as a friend, I’m just giving you some advice,” he said softly.
“Well as a friend, I think you’re wasting your life away. The girls, the drinking, the drugs – it’s just useless, and you can do so much better. You’re better than this and I know it. And I just wish you could see that,” I said softly walking over to stand in front of him.
“You sound like my brother.”
“Well maybe your brother’s right.”
“Look can we just drop it?” he said walking away to go sit at the bar.
“Fine – oh but speaking of your brother, Joshua called again. He still wants to know if you’re going tomorrow.” I walked over to join him at the bar.
“I have class tomorrow.”
“It’s the anniversary of your parents’ death. I think you can skip one day.”
“I have class tomorrow.”
“But Joshua really just wants to see you.” I was trying to stress the point, without making him angry again.
“Of course he does, but we don’t always get want we want now do we?”
“What happened between you two? You used to be so close. Ever since – ” I was interrupted by a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it,” Jacob said getting up to answer the door, “What are you doing here?”
“Well you won’t return my calls, so I came by to see you little brother,” I heard Joshua answer from the door. I decided to go join them, because Jacob probably wouldn’t let his brother in.
“Joshua, how nice to see you. Come in, would you like some coffee?” I offered when I got to the door.
“No thank you,” Joshua said stepping in and closing the door behind him, “I just came to talk to Jacob about tomorrow.”
“Of course, would you like me to leave you two alone?” I said starting to walk away.
“That would be nice,” Joshua said.
“No it wouldn’t,” Jacob said.
“Uh… I’ll um…” I tried to think of something to say.
“You should stay,” Jacob said.
“Yeah that’s fine Peyton. It doesn’t really matter,” Joshua said with a small smile.
“Oh okay,” I said going to sit on the couch trying to make myself look as invisible as possible.
“So Jacob, you know Aunt Crystal and Uncle Ernest are giving a sort of commemoration ceremony tomorrow in honor of our parents because it’s you know the five year anniversary of their deaths,” Joshua explained.
“Yeah I know,” Jacob said sitting down next to me.
“Well have you decided whether you’ll be attending or not?”
“I told you the first time you asked me, I wasn’t going.”
“Well I thought maybe you’d have a change of heart.”
“No, I didn’t”
“But everyone is expecting you to be there.”
“Well I don’t really live up to expectations now do I?”
“It’s for our parents.”
“See I’d rather celebrate their lives, than to continue to dwell on their deaths, so sorry if I don’t want to go to another funeral.”
“The ceremony will be celebrating their life.” I could tell Joshua was starting to get angry.
“Then why is it on the day they died? And not on a day that lived. Like their birthdays or their anniversary.”
“Look Jacob I know how you feel. I know remembering that day is hard, and makes you feel sad – but I feel that same way. I understand. I’m here for you.” Joshua walked closer to Jacob.
“No you don’t”
“Jacob, we both grieve for our parents.”
“No we don’t feel the same way. You feel guilty because you blame yourself about what happened. And see I’m probably the only person who will say this to your face, but it was your fault.” Jacob spoke very calmly glaring at Joshua.
“No Jacob that is too far!” I interrupted turning to Jacob, trying to get him to stop.
“If it wasn’t for you, they’d still be alive,” Jacob continued.
“No Jacob stop! I’m sorry he said that,” I said turning to face Joshua. He looked hurt and shocked.
“I’m not,” Jacob said nonchalantly getting up, “I’m going to go get ready for class. Thanks for stopping by bro.” And with that, he left the room.
“I don’t know why he hates me so much,” Joshua said when Jacob had left.
“He doesn’t hate you. He’s just…” I tried.
“Ever since he got back from boarding school, he has resented me.”
“He changed a lot since then.”
“Does he ever talk about what happened there with you?”
“No never. I’m not even allowed to bring it up.”
“Oh well… look Peyton, you’re his best friend. You always have been. You’re the only one he trusts. Can you just try to… I don’t know – do something to try to help him?”
“Yeah, I’ve been trying, but I don’t think he trusts me as much as you think.”
“Just keep trying.”
“I will.”
“Oh and can you try to convince him to come tomorrow?”
“Okay.”
“Thanks, well I think I better get going.” Joshua turned and walked back towards the door.
“Bye” I said right before he walked out.
“Bye,” he said as he left.
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