Sunday, April 23, 2017

Peyton + Jacob Chapter 4

Hello World! Chapter four awaits...

~Kerin

When my alarm went off in the morning the first thing I thought of was Landon. How am I supposed to tell Landon about what happened last night? He told me he loved me yesterday. How am I supposed to tell him that I didn’t feel the same way about him? How am I supposed to tell him that I lied? I still have feelings for Jacob, and these feelings don’t seem to be going away. How am I supposed to tell him that Jacob kissed me and I kissed him back? How am I supposed to look at my boyfriend when he comes over this morning knowing that I slept with Jacob last night?
            I rolled over in bed, and saw Jacob was still sleeping soundly next to me. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep. Before I could get anymore lost in my thoughts, I decided to get up. I needed to get away from the situation, if I was going to clear my head. As I was headed to the bathroom, I tripped over my cell phone. I saw I had two missed calls from Dylan. She was probably worried about me since I didn’t call her yesterday, but I can’t talk to her now, not after all that’s happened. I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that I slept with my best friend. I went to the bathroom to splash some water on my face to clear my head, and then went to the kitchen to fix me some coffee. I realized I didn’t really need to get up this early, because I knew for fact that Jacob didn’t bring any girl home because I was that girl. I can’t believe I slept with Jacob. I can’t believe I slept with my best friend.
“I can’t believe I slept with my best friend.” I said aloud to myself.
“Good morning,” Jacob said coming into the kitchen clad in only his boxers. Normally Jacob’s half nakedness wouldn’t bother me, but for some reason, today it makes me comfortable. I wonder why that is. Oh right because I slept with my best friend.
“Yeah morning… do you want some coffee?” I said nervously.
“No I’m good,” he said going to sit at the bar.
“Well I’m going fix me some coffee.”
“Okay.”
“Yeah I’m going to fix me some coffee… you sure don’t want any? You know actually you probably made the right choice. I… I don’t need any coffee. Caffeine is probably not the best thing for me right now. You know since I’m already so worked up. I need something to help me relax… do you have any like alcohol here?” I went over to the fridge to check, and I spotted a six pack of beer, but right when I was going to grab one, a hand reached out and stopped me.
“Peyton are you okay?” Jacob asked.
“Yeah I’m fine. I just need a drink,” I said.
“This early? And you don’t even drink beer,” he said.
“I don’t usually sleep with my best friend but that didn’t stop me,” I mumbled to myself.
“What?”
“I’m trying new things.”
“This is not something you want to try.”
“Why not?”
“It’s too early.”
“So what? It’s one drink. One beer.”
“This is about last night isn’t it?”
“What? No!” Lying was pointless of course. Jacob could clearly see it was about last night.
“Yeah it is.”
“Okay fine, so you’re right. I’ve been thinking about last night – “
“Look about what happened last night, I don’t want that to come between us, and make our relationship weird. I don’t want our relationship to change.”
“How do you expect our relationship not to change after what happened?”
“What? It was just sex.”
“Just sex? Of course you would say that.”
“Look Peyton, it really wasn’t that big of a deal.”
“Maybe not to you, but it was to me. And what about all those things you said, like how you love me? Was that not a big deal either?”
“Look Peyton- “
“Oh I see, it was just your little game, telling me what I wanted to hear, so you can get me into bed. Well congratulations it worked!”
“Peyton I – “
“Now I have to figure out how to tell my boyfriend who actually loves me that I’m the newest slut that can be added to Jacob’s never ending list of bed buddies!”
“No that’s not true, I wasn’t lying when I said I loved you.”
“No Landon loves me!”
“Fuck Landon!”
“Fuck you!”
“You already did,” Jacob smirked, “And besides he’s not going to want to be with you once he finds that you lied to him, and slept with me.”
“I hate you,” I said.
“That’s not what you said last night,” he said.
“I hate you!” I yelled before running back to my room and slamming the door.
            I could feel the tears forming in my eyes but I refused to cry. I decided to just get ready for class. If Jacob could act like it wasn’t a big deal, then so could I. I would just pretend nothing happened. Since nothing was going to happen between Jacob and I, I didn’t really need to tell Landon everything. I could just tell him it was just a kiss, and then he would forgive me, and we could be happy again. I could hear Jacob outside knocking on my door, but I decided to ignore him, and to continue getting ready. I thought he would just give up, and leave, but when I finished getting ready, I heard him outside again.
“Peyton please come out. I want to talk to you,” Jacob said through the door.
“I think you’ve already said enough,” I said.
“I want to apologize,” he said.
“I think you can do that through the door,” I said.
“But how will you know if I’m lying or not?” He had a point, so I decided to open the door. When I opened the door, I realized Jacob still hadn’t gotten dress, so that meant he had been sitting out here the entire time.
“What?” I asked standing in my doorway. Jacob took a deep breath before he began.
“Okay Peyton … I’m sorry for hurting you and how I acted this morning, but I’m not sorry for what I said or what I did last night. Peyton, I meant it when I said I loved you, and last night was me showing you. I know that you care for Landon, but I don’t, so when I said he wouldn’t want you anymore I didn’t mean that to hurt you, it’s just that I don’t want to share you.”
“So was this all your plan to get me all to yourself?”
“No there was no plan. When I realized that you didn’t love him, I saw an opportunity, and I took it. I didn’t know where it would lead, and then this morning I was a jerk because I didn’t know how to act. You weren’t the only one who was freaking out this morning; you were just more open about it.” I laughed.
“Good to know.”
“Yeah so, I acted like it didn’t matter, but it did… but I don’t want our relationship to change.”
“But it’s going to change regardless.”
“I know, and it scares me.” Jacob slide down the wall, and sat on the floor.
“Why is that?” I joined him on the floor.
“Because… you’re the best thing in my life – you’re my best friend. If things change and I mess them up, I’m afraid I’ll lose you. If I lose you… I don’t know. I just don’t what to lose my best friend.”
“I don’t want to lose you either.”
“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

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